Kuch Aansu...

Kuch Dard The Tujhse Jude Hue,
Jo Hum Na Chahte Hue Bhi Keh Gaye...
Humne Chaha Bada Rokna Inhe,
Par Aansu The So Beh Gaye...
 
Tumse Lagaya Tha Dil Jo Kabhi,
Wo Hum Dil Sa Leke Reh Gaye...
Humne Chaha Bada Rokna Inhe,
Par Aansu The So Beh Gaye...

Tumhare Sath Bitaae The Jo Pal,
Wo Pal Yaadon Mein Kheh Gaye...
Humne Chaha Bada Rokna Inhe,
Par Aansu The So Beh Gaye...

Tune Jo Bhi Khushi-O-Gham Diye,
Hum Wo Haste-Haste Seh Gaye...
Humne Chaha Bada Rokna Inhe,
Par Aansu The So Beh Gaye...

-Ashi...

Jab...

Jab Dil Me Ho Tanhaayi Bahut,
Aur Gham Me Mile Gehraayi Bahut...
Koi Saath Kahan Tab Deta Hai,
Jab Saath Chale Ruswaai Bahut...

Jo Raahi Mile The Raaston Mein,
Woh Kacche Nikle Rishton Mein...
Jab Socha To Maaloom Hua,
Yeh Dil Hi Tha Saudaayi Bohut...

Jo Pyaar Hume Dikhlaaye Bahut,
Aur Khwab Hume Dikhlaaye Bahut...
Jab Khwabon Ki Tabeer Mili,
To Nikle Wohi Harjaayi Bahut...

Kyun Raasta Dekhein Hum Unka,
Kyun Dil Pe Uthaaein Gham Unka...
Jo Saath Humaara Chhod Gaye,
Jab Garam Chali Purwaai Bahut...
 
Woh Jhoote Hain Sab Jazbon Mein,
Jo Badlein Raasta Lamhon Mein...
Kyun Saath Nibhaaye Dil Unka,
Jo Dikhlaaein Danaayi Bahut...

Ae Turk-E-Wafa Karne Walo,
Mat Mujhe Tanha Jaano...
Har Ore Ghamon Ne Ghera Hai,
Hai Deewane Shehdaai  Bohut...


-Ashi

The Last Words -- A Touching Love Story. :') ♥

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Friday, February 19, 2010 at 6:19am

It had been raining for more than a week, so much rain it made everyday seemed so restless and gloomy. She called and said she was coming up. It was the third time she came up to see me that week. I carried her excuse of why she came all the way here and went to meet her at the nearby seven-eleven. She was standing there alone, carrying her red umbrella. Her friend had dropped her off. It was raining and she was shivering. She looked weak and fragile in the harsh rain, wearing not enough to keep her warm.

I walked up to her and said, "You shouldn't come see me anymore," and stuff like how we shouldn't be together.

She said, "I miss you."

I told her coldly, "Lets go, I'll take you home."

She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted to share mine.

I said, "Open up your umbrella, let's go."

Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car. She said she hadn't eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.

Right away I answered with a stoned heart, "No!"

Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train station, she said she would take the train back home.

Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.

But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, "Let's go try the other train station."

We were living in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept the treasured relationship.

We were walking along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her. Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed by the park where we use to always go.

She begged and said, "Lets go in the park just for a little while please, I promise I'll go home right after this."

With her begging, my cold heart softened, but I still put up an annoyed face and walked in the park. I was just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to leave. She went to the big oak tree and she was looking for something. I knew she was looking for what we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago. If I remember it right, it said, "Chris and Susan was here, Chris had tea and Susan was drinking hot chocolate. Hope Chris and Susan would always remember this day, always loving each other, forever." She was looking around for quite a while, then she came back slowly with tears on her face.

She said, "Chris, I can't find it, it's not there anymore."

I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing into my heart, the kind of pain I've never felt before. But all I could do was pretend I didn't care, and said, "Can we go now?"

I opened up my big black umbrella, she was just standing there, didn't want to leave yet, hoping there was still a chance. She said, "You made up the story of you and that other girl didn't you? I know I frustrate you sometimes, but I'll change, can't we start over?"

I didn't say a word, just looked down and shook my head. After that we just kept on walking towards the train station, didn't say a word to each other.

Four years ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about the cancer. I didn't think about the cancer again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month ago, my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight, and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought the pain wouldl go away, but it grew stronger until to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the doctor and took an X-ray. The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I wanted myself and the people around me to go through the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide.

But I couldn't let people find out about my intentions, especially Susan, the person I love the most in this whole world, who still doesn't know about the truth. Susan was still young, she shouldn't have to go through this. So I made up some stories and lied to her. It was a cruel thing to do, and it broke her heart, but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years's feelings. I didn't have much time, because I would soon start to loose hair and she would find out eventually. But now I'm close to succeeding, this drama would soon be over. Thirty minutes more this would all come to an end, that was what I had in mind.

The train had stopped running so I called a taxi for her. We were just standing there, waiting, loosing our last moments in silence.

I saw the taxi from far away, I held my tears and said to her, "Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself."

She didn't talk, just nodded lightly, and then opened up her misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street. Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one red, one black, so far away from each other. I opened the door for her and she got in, then I close the gate that would separate me from her forever. I stood by the car, staring in the dark window, at the first love in my life, also the last one, walking out of my life. The car started, driving into the street. Finally I couldn't hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer, waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi, because I knew, this would be the last time I see her.

I wanted to tell her I still love her, I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to tell her so much, but the taxi had already turned in the corner. Warm tears kept falling down my face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not because of the rain. I was cold inside.

She left, and I didn't get anymore of her phone calls even until today. I know she didn't see my tears, because they were washed away by the rain. I left without regrets. But I'm not Chris, I'm that girl Susan, using my memory, and his diary I found after one year since he left, writing down these last words.

I Love YOU more than LOVE!!!!

It is impossible to capture in words
the feelings I have for you
I now have the strongest feelings
that I have ever had about anyone
Yet, when I try to tell you them
or try to write them down for you


The words do not even begin to touch
the depths of my feelings for you
And though I cannot explain
the essence of these phenomenally feelings
I can tell you what I feel like
when I am with you...


When I am with you it is as if:
I were a bird
Flying freely in the clear blue sky
I were a flower
Opening up my petals of life


When I am with you it is as if:
I were the waves of the sea
Crashing strongly against the shore
I were the rainbow after the storm
Proudly showing my colors so pure and vividly


When I am with you it is as if
Everything that's beautiful


surrounds us...


This is just a small part
of how wonderful I feel when I am with you
Maybe......
the word "Love" was invented
to explain the deep heart felt
all-encompassing feelings we feel and enjoy


But, somehow, it is not strong enough
Yet, since it is the BEST word there is
Let me tell YOU a thousand times that
I Love YOU more than LOVE!!!!

Does Love need a Reason......?

Once a lady when having a conversation with her lover, asked:

Lady : Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?

Man : I can t tell the reason.. but I really like you..

Lady : You can t even tell me the reason... how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?

Man : I really don t know the reason, but I can prove that I loveU.

Lady : Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend's boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!

Man : Ok..ok!!! Erm... because you are beautiful,

because your voice is sweet,

because you are caring,

because you are loving,

because you are thoughtful,

because of your smile,

because of your every movements.

The lady felt very satisfied with the man s answer.

Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident
and went in comma.

The Guy then placed a letter by her side, and here is the
content:

Darling,

Because of your sweet voice that I love you...

Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your care and concern that I like you..

Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your smile,

because of your every movements that I love you..

Now can you smile? Now can you move?

No, therefore I cannot love you...

If love needs a reason, like now,

There is no reason for me to love you anymore.

Does love need a reason? NO!

Therefore, I still love you...

100 SECRETS GUYS HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT GIRLS

1. Girls like guys with sense of humor.
2. Girls hate guys who always brag about themselves.
3. It's a rare thing for girls to go for flings unlike many guys do.
4. Take a close look at this paradox: Girls are generally impulsive buyers but are good in budgeting.
5. Too sweet girls are usually the naggers.
6. Your girlfriend can either jokingly or seriously get jealous over your basketball games.
7. Girls are very suspicious human beings.
8. A guy oughta understand his girl's mood swings specially when she has her monthly period.
9. Girls love to chat about anything.
10. Girls easily get carried away by their emotions.
11. You must tell a girl that you are courting her. Unless ou make obvious proposal, she could either play numb or be really numb of your feelings for her.
12. The girl who gives you a quick "yes" could either be too impulsive.
13. A girl's decision is always changeable.
14. It is really hard to trace why girls are unpredictable.
15. Girls can easily change their mind because of hearsays.
16. Girls hate guys who gossip.
17. You would know that a girl likes you if she laughs even at your corniest joke and even pays attention at your nonsense talk.
18. You can hook a girl by knowing her interests.
19. It is a fact that girls, since brith of the world, can be professional flirts using their magical charms.
20. Girls hate it when you make them wait.
21. Girls love babies.
22. If you're truly in love with a girl, you will have a hard time to convince her telling so.
23. Girls don't take a full meal especially when they are on a diet. But they love to eat junkfood, , sweets or fruits in between meals that can double up a full meal.
24. Beware: a girl knows how to persuade you that you could do her a favor through her charisma or seductive body language without you knowing it.
25. Girls are flattered when you make them melt in your eyes, but they would do anything just to show disapproval.
26. Girls are every conscious people.
27. Girls hate guys who whistle at their back. The act makes them look like cheap.
28. Girls hate guys who hurt them physically.
29. A girl is not necessarily after a guy with towering height. He just has to be taller then she is.
30. Girls generally do not court guys which make you guys so lucky to have their privilege to court your pick.
31. Girls who court guys are desperate. It is awkward to see a girl courting a guy.
32. Girls usually complete unconsciously among themselves especially when it comes to beauty.
33. Girls love pampering and being pampered by their boyfriends. So be careful, this can lead her to be possessive.
34. Never spoil a girl. Someday, if you fail to do a favor for her, she could lay the blame on you after all you did to her.
35. Girls have changeable moods.
36. Girls love being serenaded. The spookiest and the corniest thing that you do is for her the most romantic and the most memorable.
37. Girls like smart guys.
38. Girls like neat and presentable guys.
39. If you're thinking that girls are very particular with a guy's looks, then it's time for you to make a paradigm shift. It's actually the attitude and the way you treat them that they mostly fall for.
40. Girls can keep their deepest darkest secrets for a lifetime unlike guys who are very open about themselves.
41. Girls are the ones who can make a relationship stay longer but they don't want to have the dominating character over their boyfriend.
42. You should let her cool first before you say sorry, otherwise she won't accept your apology.
43. Girls usually go for older guys.
44. Like Eve, a girl is man's weakness.
45. Girls are generally pitiful and merciful.
46. Girls are physically weaker than guys but are emotionally stronger when problems arise.
47. Girls easily cry. That is why they are rarely violent because they ventilate themselves through crying.
48. A girl smokes and drinks though she knows it's not a good impression on her.
49. Girls love gentlemen.
50. Girls like guys who can protect and defend them. You don't have to be a macho man though.
51. Girls hate weaklings. It's enough that their gender has the weakest physique of all human being.
52. A girl can be fond of an effeminate. They may fall in love with a gay under considerable reasons.
53. Girls are constantly demure when guys (especially their crushes) are around but can be wild behind their back.
54. A girl hates it when her friend squeals about her crushes or secrets.
55. A girl that has admired a stranger could research even the least and nonsense bits of info about him.
56. Girls are generally more organized people than guys.
57. Girls wear makeup not because they are not confident with how they look but because they want to highlight their physical assets.
58. Girls like guys with electrical and carpentering skills. These assure them that they can handle even the smallest and peculiar thing.
59. Girls like McGyver-like guys who can easily look for a way out when situations corner them.
60. Girls are generally good in subjects like Language and Social Science than Mathematics and General Science.
61. If a girl says "no," believe her. If a girl really likes you, she wouldn't give you a "no." She'll give you hanging messages instead.
62. Girls only play hard-to-get when they think her crush or suitor finds her obvious that she has feelings for him.
63. Girls have legions of insecurities.
64. Girls also stammer when they're talking to the guy they truly admire.
65. Girls have innumerable crushes but her heart belongs only to one guy.
66. Girls mature faster and grow older than guys their same age.
67. Girls are more prone to getting fat easily.
68. Girls love receiving letters.
69. Girls are mostly panic-buyers and worriers.
70. Girls love surprises.
71. It is false humility girls show when they're given compliments.
72. It is by playing tame pussycat but you tame the shrew.
73. Before you court a girl, study her inside out.
74. Girls are particular in getting, grouping, or having things in one color.
75. It's hard for a girl to recover from her past.
76. A girls prefers to learn about relationships from novels than through experience.
77. Psychologists proved that a girl, who was molested at a very young age, loses her self esteem and develops negative attitude towards other people.
78. A girl can easily forgive you if you are sincere with your apology.
79. A girl can only be healed from her past through the enabling touch of God.
80. Girls murmur a lot or make tantrums when they get irritated. They can control their emotions but not their temper.
81. Girls easily get watery eyed over telenovelas and dramas.
82. A girl gets annoyed to a guy who pushes himself so hard to get her.
83. Girls act snob to guys either they like too much or hate too much.
84. A girl can suppress her feelings if she knows that a relationship wouldn't work.
85. Girls are weight conscious.
86. If a guy is too innocent about handling a relationship, a girl would rather dump him.
87. Girls love being wooed.
88. A girl would flaunt her assets just to hook you.
89. Immature guys are out from girl's list.
90. There's somehow a prick in a girl, who busted you, when she learns you're courting another girl, she'll thinks that that girl would rather dump you also.
91. A girl can make you wait for years in courting her but could eventually give you a "no" in the long run.
92. It is not always because she said "yes" that she likes or love you. She could have just said it for superficial reasons.
93. A girl loves talking all alone with the guy she's truly in love with especially in romantic and isolated places.
94. Girls drool a lot over shopping malls.
95. Girls like guys with broad shoulders and breasts.
96. Girls admire sports-minded guys a lot.
97. High heels increases a girl's poise on a catwalk.
98. Girls love guys who can bear with what they feel.
99. Girls are genetically sensitive.
100. Unless a girl enters Nursing, Biology, or medical courses or profession, she will always have that irk from seeing blood and will always repel to see, smell, or even hear disgusting stuff.

99 SECRETS GIRLS HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT GUYS

no offense guys.....dont no hw far its true...!...some do sound true to me atlest...!
Warning:- CAN GET BORING....guys r indeed difficult to analyse..!

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.
8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.
11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.
12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!
13. Guys cry!!!
14. Don't provoke(irritate) the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.
15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.
16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.
20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.
22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
24. Guys hate gays!
25. Guys love their moms.
26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.
28 You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
31. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.
32. Guys are very open about themselves.
33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.
34. No guy is bad when he is courting
35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.
37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.
42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.
43. Guys virtually brag about anything.
44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
45. Guys think too much.
46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.
47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!
48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!
49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.
50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.
**51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.
52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.
53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed *****cats with their girlfriends.
56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll probably see that he is nervous.
57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.
58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying,"Please come and listen to me"
59. Guys don't really have final decisions.
60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.
61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.
62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.
63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.
64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.*
65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.
67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.
68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.
69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!
70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.
72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.
73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.
74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.
75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.
77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.
78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them,they'll realize they're wrong.
81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too stubborn to deal with it.
82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.
84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.
85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.
86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's criticizing you.
87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance,give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance,ignore him.
88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.
89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at u and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.
90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!
92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.
94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!
97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.
98. Guys hate girls who overreact.
99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

Sleepy Eyes... (For my love)

Sleepy eyes adjust the water...
Anticipating a soft spray...
Enhanced by heated thoughts of...
Conversations recapturing the day...

Waiting for me...
As it waited yesterday...
With one thousand cups of coffee...
To change the course of what cannot be....

Numbness awakens with little splashes...
Warm and caressing when trouble lashes...
Mine eyes shut softly and head tilted slightly...
While soap suds silkens worries not wanted...

Soothing all that is not right...
Five more minutes just- five more minutes...
To forget how weary was the night...
Five more minutes before the day begins again...

If You Are Thinking About Suicide,,, Read It First...

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.
I don't know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you're reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.
I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won't argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.
Well, you're still reading, and that's very good. I'd like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you're at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let's hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.

Start by considering this statement:

"Suicide is not chosen; it happens
when pain exceeds
resources for coping with pain."

That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.
Don't accept it if someone tells you, "that's not enough to be suicidal about." There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.
When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things:
(a) Find a way to reduce your pain;
(b) Find a way to increase your coping resources.
Both are possible.

Now I want to tell you five things to think about.

1. You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.

2. Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it's just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.

 3. People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

4. Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

5. Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.

Well, it's been a few minutes and you're still with me. I'm really glad.

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.

Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won't be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It's time to start looking around for one of them.

Now: I'd like you to call someone.

Zaroori to nahi...

Tum Ko Bhi Hum Se Itni Mohabbat Ho Jitni Humein Tum Se Zaroori To Nahi...

Ek Si Dono Ki Haalat Ho Zaroori To Nahi...

Dil Ki Chahat To Kai Khwaab Jagaa Deti Hai...

Jo Mere Khwaab Hon Woh Tere Bhi Hon Zaroori To Nahi...

Jo Tere Khwaab Hon Woh Mere Bhi Hon Zaroori To Nahi..

Haan Magar Saath Mein Kismat Ho Zaroori To Nahi...

Meri Tanhaaiyaan Karti Hain Jinhein Yaad Sada...

Un Ko Bhi Meri Zaroorat Ho Zaroori To Nahi...

Muskurane Se Bhi Hota Hai Bayaan Gham-E-Dil...

Hum Ko Bhi Rone Ki Aadat Ho Zaroori Tu Nahi...!!!